No More Next Times
by BLUEanimeGIRL025
Summary: Another piece that I happened to dig up and finally finish. Sasuke goes off on a mission and never comes home. How can Naruto cope with this? A SasuNaruxxNaruSasu story. Oneshot.


_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Naruto_

_**A/N:**__ So I've sworn to myself a thousand times that I would never ever do a songfic, and I'm sticking by that promise, but... if you've ever played the game FFX-2, well, this story is kind of based off of the song 1000 Words._

_not a songfic tho. _

_the song has just been getting to me lately._

* * *

_Sasuke_...

"I'm leaving tomorrow," Sasuke said. He had just told Naruto the news. In fact, he was still standing in the doorway.

Tsunade wanted Sasuke in particular for a certain S-rank mission. Sasuke wouldn't tell Naruto exactly what it was, only the fact that some missing people were involved. He said he'd be gone for a while....

Naruto wasn't quite sure how to react to this. They had agreed the day they started this relationship that they would still carry out their duty as ninja for the Leaf Village. They had to - they couldn't just give up everything else now that they had one another. That had been nearly a year and a half ago, and they had had no problems in fulfilling that agreement since. They were both born ninja, so even having one another, _being_ ninja and going on missions was still as natural as breathing.

Still, this was the first _big_ mission either of them had been on since that day.

Naruto was feeling a large tidal wave of emotions. Worry, for Sasuke's safety. Curiosity - he was still bold and headstrong Naruto, if not a little... calmer now that he spent so much of his time with Sasuke, and he _really _wanted to know what this big secretive mission was all about. And why the heck wasn't he on it? He was the tiniest bit angry about that. Naruto was stronger than Sasuke, and even Sasuke himself was coming close to admitting it. (But still wouldn't _actually_ admit it, of course, because of his scary Uchiha pride). And he also wanted to be on the mission because at least then, he would be close to Sasuke.

Most surprisingly of all, was how incredibly _sad_ he was. His heart felt like it was just going to pop right out of his chest and fall to the floor at Sasuke's feet - it was reaching out for Sasuke, beating only for Sasuke. Sasuke had said that he was going to be gone for a long time. How long was a "long time"? Naruto missed him already.

But, then he had to remind himself that this is what he had also agreed upon. And yes, he would miss Sasuke, but it's not like he could just keep him at home could he? Then again the idea had merit - he'd probably have to tie Sasuke down or something to keep him from going on the mission. He would enjoy _that_ of course.

Sasuke didn't seem content with the fact that Naruto wasn't saying anything. "It'll be really dangerous you know," he pressed.

Naruto nodded, but felt his facial expression fall a little. Sasuke, in danger. The guy was strong, and a genius besides, but still.... "Yeah." He cleared his throat and tried to make his tone light. "But those are the best ones, right?" He grinned his famous Naruto Uzumaki grin, but somehow, it didn't have much of an effect. Sasuke had been expecting a different reaction, Naruto could tell. Had he been wanting Naruto to ask him to stay? But why would Sasuke want that? They had agreed on this... hadn't they?

But by the next day, it was a different story.... It was early in the morning. They had gone to bed the night before without saying a word, just silently lying in one another's arms. It had felt a little awkward though, because both of them were so aware of the fact that Sasuke would be leaving the day after.

Sasuke had tried getting out of bed that morning without waking Naruto, but the truth of it was, Naruto hadn't even gotten any sleep at all anyway. He had been too awake after what Sasuke had told him, had been too sick with worry, and thinking about what it would be like with Sasuke gone for so long. During the night, he had made up his mind - he was going to ask Sasuke to stay. And as the night progressed, he had come up with more and more reasons why Sasuke shouldn't leave. He would hold Sasuke down, tie him up, lock him in a closet for days on end if he had to. He would break one of his legs or.... Naruto decided he would do anything he had to in order to keep Sasuke from leaving on that mission.

However, when the morning came, and the sun began to rise, Naruto sat up in bed while Sasuke got dressed on the other side of the room, and now that he had the chance, he somehow couldn't think of the words to say. By the time he followed Sasuke out into the living room, every reason he had had the night before for not asking Sasuke to stay had already crept back into his mind. They were ninja. This is what they did. He had to stick to the agreement.

As a way of saying goodbye, Sasuke kissed Naruto on the forehead, and then started for the door. A great lump suddenly welled up in Naruto's throat. He realized that this was his last chance - after this, he wouldn't be able to change his mind again. And it didn't matter if he couldn't come up with the right words to say - any words would do, he just had to say _something_. "Sasuke, wait!" He nearly chocked on those words. He found that it was difficult, physically, to get them out with such a feeling in his gut.

With his hand on the doorknob, Sasuke turned back around. Neither of them spoke. They just stood looking at one another for a moment. Finally, Sasuke shook his head, and his eyes lowered, full of regret, to the floor. "You know I have to go, Naruto. This is what we _do_. I can't just stay home and hide every time I get an important assignment. That's like..."

"I know," Naruto interrupted. So, he'd gone through all that worrying, had stayed up all night sick with it, and when finally he had the balls to say something... Sasuke was leaving anyway. "Never mind," he said, and there was a little bitterness in his voice there.

The door opened. Silence. "Save your tears, Naruto," Sasuke whispered. "I'll come back." And then he was gone. The silence that echoed Sasuke's voice was the loudest quiet the Kyuubi-boy had ever heard. Naruto had never felt more alone.

Without a thought, without a sound, Naruto fell to his knees and began to sob.

* * *

Maybe he had known somehow, that day, that he would never see his Sasuke again. Sasuke had said that he would come home, but he never did. Somehow, Naruto had been half-expecting the news when it came, but that didn't make it any less devastating. In the silence of his and Sasuke's empty bedroom, Naruto lay on the cold mattress, staring blankly at the wall, tears pouring like waterfalls nonstop from his eyes. He had known. When Sasuke had left, he had known.

Naruto... should have done everything he'd thought of that last night. He should have done everything imaginable to make Sasuke stay. He should have shouted and screamed, accusing Sasuke of leaving him behind. He should have cussed him until Sasuke would feel like shit for leaving. He should have grabbed Sasuke by the neck and punched him right in the face for going off and doing something so _stupid_. And for breaking that promise he had made; his promise to come back.

And Naruto should have cried for him. He should have wept and sobbed and begged on his _knees_ for Sasuke to stay. If anger didn't work, he'd approach it like that. Sasuke... he might have stayed in the face such drastic extremes. Maybe. If he saw Naruto completely emotionally distraught like that.

Naruto pressed his face deep into Sasuke's pillow, inhaling silently. His nose was stuffed up, but Naruto could still smell it - the faint scent of Sasuke that would soon be gone forever. Naruto just wanted to wrap up every little memory he'd had of his lover... wrap them up and keep them forever.

_Sasuke...._

He began to sob - great, painful, heart clenching sobs that shook his entire body.

_Sasuke... Sasuke... Sasuke...._

The funeral was held that very next day. Naruto had cried himself to exhaustion the night before, and hadn't woken until Sakura showed up at his door to escort him there. She'd had to help him out of bed, hand him his clothes.... She'd moved silently, understandingly, tears in her own eyes. Though she had given up on Sasuke long ago, the Uchiha's death still ripped at her heart - but still she was not nearly in as much pain as Naruto was. She could only imagine the anguish that her blonde friend was experiencing.

Naruto moved mechanically; numbly, as if his body were set on automatic. Tears still fell, as if there was a broken pipe somewhere in his brain. They just wouldn't stop, and he didn't try to hold them back.

Sasuke's casket was closed. Along the top of it lined beautiful, vibrant red and yellow and white roses... and pictures of he and Naruto, and pictures of Team 7 from way back when. Naruto felt his heart shatter every time he saw Sasuke's smiling/smirking/annoyed expression. The thing inside his chest, the thing that had beat only for his lover, crumbled away into dust in his stomach. Naruto didn't think he'd ever feel again.

He was, of course, the last person standing by the casket... just before the diggers were to put it into the ground. His heart - the cold muscle that beat heavily now, with the sole purpose of keeping him alive - wrenched, knowing that the body of the one he loved so much was so close, and yet Sasuke was now so far away. He'd be in the ground by nightfall. "Come on Naruto," Sakura said quietly. She'd already left once, only to come back to retrieve him. Kakashi-sensei had asked her to. The pink haired girl placed an arm around Naruto's shoulders, ready to lead him away.

Numbly, Naruto placed his fingers to his lips, and then put that hand upon the cold wood of Sasuke's coffin. Only then, did he allow Sakura to take him away. Behind them, Naruto could hear the diggers begin their work.

* * *

Five years later, and Naruto was staring up at the sky.

On this day, he would finally be moving out of the little apartment where he and Sasuke had lived. They had shared their best times here - everywhere Naruto turned were still all the memories, and the very presence of Sasuke. In all the time since Sasuke's death, he'd been reluctant to move out of the place that they had shared together, but Sakura and Kakashi had finally convinced him. They said that it was unhealthy to be stuck in the past. They said that Naruto needed to move on. They said that the apartment was cramped and no good for him.

And so, he had agreed. It was okay, though. No matter where he went, Naruto knew that Sasuke would be with him. His every memory - every smile, every laugh, every gentle kiss... they would all still be there, even if Naruto was finally giving up on the one place that had been theirs alone. Physical things like that, really, meant nothing in terms of love. Even if Sasuke were a thousand miles away, even in death, Naruto was strong enough to know....

The two of them, they would always be together.

_.:"And a thousand words,_

_one thousand confessions,_

_will cradle you,_

_making all of the pain you feel seem far away._

_They'll hold you forever":._

* * *

_P.S. yes, I did actually end up crying while writing this. Man, I'm such a spazz. -_-' _


End file.
